


Didn't Ask For This, Thank You Very Much

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Reincarnated Harry Potter, Reincarnation, This is me trying to find more HP x Naruto before saying fuck it I'll do it myself, no beta we die like Itachi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28723428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Namiashi Raido’s eyes snapped open. He remembered everything. His head felt the clearest than it ever has been before.He remembered his name. His name was Harry Potter.He was Harry Potter, wizard and Saviour of the Wizarding World, but he was also Namiashi Raido, Shinobi of the Leaf and bodyguard of the Hokage.He reincarnated and now he remembers everything.Fuck his life. Fate must honestly hate him or something.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Shiranui Genma, Hatake Kakashi & Shiranui Genma, Namiashi Raidou & Shiranui Genma, Namiashi Raidou/Shiranui Genma, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 17
Kudos: 155
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be the end of the chapter more than the first note, so read this after you read the chapter since I don't want people reading this note every chapter lol.
> 
> ...
> 
> ..
> 
> .
> 
> This chapter was more of a "Hey, Raido, you forgot all this so go say hi to all of these people who may or may not care about you and were pretty important to you." Since this fic is going to be Naruto-world centric, I was basically trying to get all the Harry Potter characters out of the way, before focusing on the Naruto timeline (I am playing with the idea of more Harry Potter characters, but we'll see).
> 
> Also, Naruto timeline is literally a mess so I'm going to bulldoze over some things since I do not plan to dedicate my life to research. If I do continue this if people like it, I am going to bulldoze for the sake of my sanity. I will try to keep things fairly accurate, but yeah. Definitely do not have the time to research since college is kicking my butt. 
> 
> Also, I am not going to character bash, even if I am frustrated with how the authors wrote things. (Literally, everything about Sakura wants me to tear my hair out since I love her potential, but WHY DO AUTHORS ALWAYS HAVE OBSESSIVE FEMALES!? I am very worried about media encouraging the stalking of their crushes *cough Miraculous cough* so yeah. This is my mini rant)
> 
> But yeah. I hoped you enjoyed and let me know if you like this idea! I might continue it! If no one does like it, at least it is under Anon so I can hide it lol.

“Raido, hold on! Don’t you dare fucking die on me!” someone hissed softly into the night as they flew past the ground below.

His head was spinning. His vision had spots. His head was foggy and he could barely remember his name. 

(Was his name Raido? Why did that feel- wrong? But also right?)

There was the bitter taste of copper in his mouth and something oddly sweet. It was an odd combination and he had the sudden urge to complain about whatever he ate because it was something that shouldn’t ever exist.

(Wait, did he eat it willingly? Or not?) 

He just couldn’t even remember what happened, but he knew he did something fucking stupid and his… teammate- (No, that wasn’t right. Was he a friend? Or partner? Or maybe something more? Ugh. Thinking about it just made the pounding even worse) was going to stab him several times before strangling his body, and then drag his spirit back from the Pure Land to tear into him all over again.

Why did he have an awful feeling that if he did survive this, he also wouldn’t. He probably would have to go to the hospital if he did survive this… He couldn’t remember why, but the idea of going to the hospital sent shivers down his spine. There was a sudden flash image of a loud crash filled and… green? Lots and lots of green.

He was seeing a lot of green and it just made him feel even more sick. 

He bit his tongue to withhold from groaning. His instincts were telling him that it was a bad idea and throwing up on his teammate would probably make him even more angrier than he already was. And that was a big no no.

But also, the green. The green. 

He was about to open his mouth to thank his teammate for dealing with his idiocy (since that was obviously the polite and right thing to do, especially since a warning that he might hurl any second would be a good thing), but the dizziness hit and everything began to blur together.

Then, it hit him. 

Oh. He had poison in his system, he vaguely realized and felt quite dumb, before passing out. 

* * *

He felt cold and hungry. He was scared.

(What was his name? He couldn’t remember, as if there was a fog obscuring it. _WhatwashisnameWhatwashisname_? He couldn’t remember and wanted to throw up)

He couldn’t help wonder why his parents had to die in a car crash and whether they even loved him in the first place. He was probably a mistake, right? After all, he was a freak and strange.

(Didn’t he have a family that loved him? A family that he mourned after he lost them to the Shinobi War-)

He was a child hidden away and unwanted. That’s all he was…

(He thought of a blond haired boy, whose father he swore to follow. A boy who was suffering just like he once did. He felt sick all over again and finally understood why he felt so _horrible_ watching over him. He wasn’t doing enough, and now the bright boy was suffering like he once was)

He curled into himself and waited. And waited and waited and waited.

His stomach growled, but he waited even more. Not yet- Not yet- He had to wait for the right moment. Notyetnotyetnotyet-

Then the scene swirled away into darkness and he was alone again. 

…

There was a flash of light and someone reaching out to him. They were giving him _kindness_ and _answers_ that he so desperately needed. They were giving something back to him that he never knew he was missing in the first place.

They were giving him hope and love. He was confused, but excited. He was looking forward to what was happening next and knew it was the best birthday ever.

He could see a blurry large figure holding an umbrella and couldn’t help, but have a huge smile. He knew this person. He was a friend both loyal and kind and- and-

He missed him.

Blurry colors swirled and he was alone again, but smiling.

…

There was a blond child next to him, trying on some strange robes.

(Why robes? Why wasn’t it mesh armor or something more traditional, like a kimono? Even a cloak felt more sense than the robes)

He was talking about your friend and it was making you _upset._ You didn’t like it and couldn’t understand why he would say such things. There were a lot of things you didn’t understand, but his arrogance rubbed you the wrong way. 

The lonely child couldn’t help but think this as his hands clenched in frustration. There was a flash image of the large man holding him gently, crying softly. There was a bitter taste in his mouth as he thought about the large figure and couldn’t help but think _friend_ tinged with regrets.

The boy with glasses watched the blond boy as his figure began to blur over. The colors began to twist and turn, as if in a dance, before being replaced by a blonde older man. No, not a man. He was a young teen yet still a child, he thought. He was a beloved child to his parents, but arrogance would tear his family down and only ruins would be left in its wake. The boy knew that for a fact.

He didn’t like the arrogant blond child or teen, but despite his dislike, he couldn’t help but feel pity. He knew the blond would hate the pity more than anything, but he couldn’t help it. He compared the arrogant boy to a scared teenager and just felt sorry for him. 

The young boy was enveloped in darkness as the blond hair faded away.

…

He watched as a young boy with ginger red hair smiled and laughed with him. He was a _friend…_ no, his _best friend_ and there was a gaping hole in his heart because he missed this red haired boy.

In the compartment, a girl with bushy brown hair entered followed by a meeker boy. The girl and red haired boy began to bicker and he began to have a wide smile.

She was also _his best friend._ They were a trio and they were finally _together_ again _._ Both would follow him to the end of the world, he knew in his gut. 

(Was that why being in a trio team always felt so _right_ and how having a partner that would always have his back felt so _reassuring_ ?)

The nervous boy watched the scene, looking a bit unsure.

The boy with glasses thought _loyalty and bravery_ when he looked at this terrified boy. Colors swirled as he was replaced by an older man. It was a man that stood tall and was holding a glistening sword in his hand. He was holding the sword to the sky with determination burning in his eyes.

The scarred man turned to him with a smile, before vanishing in a blink. 

The boy blinked again and his two best friends were replaced by adults. They were giving him a reassuring smile. 

“We go wherever you go, mate,” the red haired man said and the woman nodded with a smile. They were both so confident in their decision. 

Tears stung his eyes and he wanted to scream at them about how reckless they were being. He didn’t want to risk losing them. But- But… he also felt so thankful he wasn’t alone in his heavy burden to carry. He loved them both. 

Despite their childish fights and disagreements, he knew they would follow him to whatever craziness and recklessness he dragged them into. He felt a pang of longing to see both of them again and hold them both. He just wanted to tell them how much they meant to him one more time. 

“We both love you, *****!” they said in unison with a huge smile on their faces. 

The colors twirled and swirled again, but as the compartment faded away, the boy’s eyes were stuck on their smiles. 

...

The young boy with glasses was now in a forest. He tilted his head in confusion. 

Was this the Forest of Death? No, that wasn’t right. He was confusing the forest with something else…

He had an image flash in his head of a white bearded man with glasses talking before many students. He was warning them about something… 

Then the boy remembered the name of this forest. It was the Forbidden Forest. That’s where he was and he has been here many times before. 

The boy sat down and waited. He knew it was waiting for something.

As he stood in the clearing, four animals finally emerged from the shadows. It was a stag, doe, dog, and wolf. 

The boy sat, frozen. The doe walked over to him and gently nudged him towards the group of animals. Like a newly born fawn, the boy shakily walked over to the other animals.

The black dog bounded towards him with his tail wagging. He licked the boy happily. The stag gently nudged him in the face. The wolf slowly walked over and circled the boy, before sitting beside him. The doe watched them all with loving eyes.

With all these animals, he felt safe.

“Padfoot, Prongs, and Moony,” the boy murmured with a smile, before blinking in confusion. He blinked several times as he looked from the dog and wolf to the stag and doe. Their names were-! 

“Sirius and Remus were my godfather and my professor. James and Lily were my mom and dad,” the boy said softly, filled with awe as he suddenly remembered. The animals shifted into humans with kind smiles and loving eyes.

Tears stung his eyes. He missed them all and though he couldn’t remember everything clearly, he knew they all _died for him_. 

The boy opened his mouth to apologize for everything, but his godfather gently ruffled his hair.

“Don’t apologize for anything, Prongslet. We love you and we are always watching over you. Forever, no matter what and who you are,” Sirius said with a smile, before winking. “Make sure the Marauder’s name is never forgotten!”

Professor Lupin stood by him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I died for a better world, protecting both you and my son. I have no regrets,” the Professor said confidently with a reassuring smile.

An image flashed in his head of a young baby with color changing hair and he thought _I was supposed to watch over him for you_. The boy tried to open his mouth to apologize, but Professor Lupin shook his head. The Professor gave him a gentle pat on his head, silently saying there was no need to apologize and how he was happy to see him again. 

The boy watched the Professor step away in confusion because he couldn’t understand how easily the Professor forgave him, when the boy knew he failed both the Professor and his son.

Another person hugged him tightly from behind and something wet fell on his cheek. The boy looked up to see his mother quietly crying as she hugged him tightly. The boy knew he should say something, but his mouth wouldn’t move. Someone else hugged tightly and the boy looked up to see his dad looking at him proudly with teary eyes.

“We both love you so much,” his father said with a wide grin, before hugging both him and his mother tightly. “We- we are both so proud of you, no matter what.”

The boy opened his mouth to refute his father’s words. It made him sick. His parents shouldn’t be proud of him. He was an assassin and a _murderer._ He didn’t deserve their love or pride. He also had another family, so wasn’t he betraying them as well, as their son?

As if reading his mind, his mother shook her head, before gently cupping the boy’s face. 

“We _love you_ and you are _our son_ , and that’s all that matters,” she whispered fiercely. She gently kissed his forehead and gave a huge smile. “Live, *****, live. Live your life to the fullest and know that Mom and Dad are always watching over you. Find love and happiness because that’s all I wanted for you.”

His mother gave him one last kiss and his father gave another hug, before both stepped away. The entire group of adults were smiling at him with so much affection and love. The boy couldn’t understand why they all loved him so much that they were _willing to die for him_ and _did die for him_.

The boy reached out towards them, but the forest swirled around him and they all vanished. 

…

He was alone in a shack. The boy looked around in confusion to see a snake staring at him. The snake’s eyes were unreadable as it watched the boy’s every movement.

The boy slowly stepped towards the snake and the snake shifted to a doe. He blinked in confusion, before the doe shifted into a man with a hooked nose and shoulder length black hair.

The two stared at each other in silence.

The boy’s mouth opened to say things before he could think.

“Thank you for everything, Professor Snape. I am sorry for everything,” the boy said, but also couldn’t understand why he felt so thankful and guilty.

The man wrinkled his nose before looking away.

“I didn’t do it for you, ******. I did it for Lily and the Headmaster. Also, the snake was able to die because of you. That's good enough for me,” the man, Snape, said curtly.

The boy opened his mouth, but the colors swirled around him before he could say anything else.

…

He was now in a train station. 

(Trains didn’t exist, but he knew what they were. This was making his brain hurt)

Nearby, the boy could see a sign that was 9 ¾. Other than that, the train station was empty except for him and a mirror.

Looking around, the boy hesitantly walked towards the mirror. In the glass though, he couldn’t see his reflection. Instead, he saw an entire group of people.

There was a woman with color changing hair holding a baby. There was an entire family of redheads, all laughing and smiling. The mother and father looked at their family full of love. There were two twins laughing and teasing one sibling with glasses and another that was very tanned. There was a blonde girl wearing strange glasses and holding a magazine upside down. A redhead girl smiled and laughed with the blonde. There was a beautiful woman with blonde hair, kissing a scarred redhead. There were two boys, both that had their cameras. There was an asian girl talking and grinning with a boy with dark hair.

The boy blinked as more and more people began to walk and join the crowd in the mirror. There was a man with a swirling eye and another tall black wizard. There was an older woman with glasses with a stern look in her eyes, but seemed like she was enjoying herself. More adults and students joined the group, and all seemed to be happy together.

Then, they all looked and smiled at him. Then, the image slowly began to fade away.

The boy blinked in confusion. Now, he was seeing his reflection. The boy looked at his face wearily. He had messy black hair with bright green eyes. He had glasses and a thunderbolt scar.

It felt right, but also not.

Then, the image faded into an older version of himself. He blinked in confusion, before looking down at himself.

He once was a boy, but now he was a man. His clothes also changed. From robes, it was now a more practical outfit. He also knew in his gut that they were the last pair of clothes he wore. 

“Strange, isn’t it?” someone said behind him. 

The man spun around to see an old man with twinkling eyes. The old man looking at him with both so much pride and regrets.

He knew exactly who he was.

“Professor Dumbledore…” the man murmured.

The old man smiled at him fondly, “That’s right, my boy. Come and walk with me.”

The Professor began to walk away and the man quickly followed. The old man’s footsteps echoed loudly in the station, while the man moved in a way that it made no sounds. 

“Professor, what happened?” the man asked. “Who am I?”

“You are who you are,” Professor Dumbledore replied cryptically. The man sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation. 

“I mean, what happened? I know you… and I knew all of those people… but how? Who am I? Or, who _was_ I?” the man asked. 

The Professor stopped, before looking at the man. “I can’t tell you. You must remember for yourself,” Professor Dumbledore replied. The man grimaced, before sighing. Go figures. 

Professor Dumbledore looked around the station and at the mist in the distance. He had a distant look in his eyes.

“I wish you were able to continue living, but Death didn’t give you a choice. You were able to return to defeat him, but Death wanted you to board the train. So that’s what happened. I’m afraid that’s also all I can tell you. You must remember for yourself. There are things you must do, and you cannot run away from it. You must face it head on. It may be difficult and confusing, but you can do it. But, despite that, also live for the life you couldn’t live before, *****.” 

Professor Dumbledore then looked at him with a sad smile. “Look in the mirror again. This isn’t the only part of it. Remember the other things you care about. Good luck, my boy.” 

With those final parting words, Professor Dumbledore walked into the mist before vanishing. 

The man was left alone once more. With no other hints, he returned to the mirror. 

There was no reflection, but, instead, there was a blond man standing tall. He looked like a _leader_ that people looked up to. Something in the man’s gut told him _I was willing to follow him to the end_. The blond man then laughed as a beautiful red-haired woman holding a blond baby joined him. She smiled at him, and they looked happy together.

There was a heavy weight in his stomach as the fog in his head finally cleared.

That was the _Yondaime_ and his _wife_. There was _baby Naruto_ who was so alone now, but he was forbidden to reach out, like so many others. He could only watch from afar with so many other jounins, but unable to actually do much. Their hands were tied, whether it was the law, memories, bitterness, politics, or grief.

There was a bitter taste in his mouth. It was guilt. He should have done more _since he understands how Naruto feels_. 

The image faded away to a family with brown hair. The mother was tired with a strong look in her eyes, but the adoring look on her face at her family made her seem radiant. The father had a scar on his cheek with a huge grin and fondly kissed his wife on the cheek. 

(We’re matching now, he recalls his father joking when he came back from one of his early missions)

They were holding a little boy with a mischievous look in his eyes and they were all smiling at him. 

Tears stung his eyes.

(He missed his parents and his brother. Whether from the war or the Kyuubi attack, he lost them all. Why didn’t he treasure those moments together more?)

The image faded away to see an entire group of ninjas. Their names flew in his brain as he watched them all joke together and have fun. 

Gai, Anko, Iruka, Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi, Aoba, Hayate, Yugao, Ibiki, Shukaku, Choza, Inoichi, and more. 

Some were dear to his heart and others were his comrades that went through hell and back together. They were all a part of Konoha and they all fought together to protect their home.

Tears stung his eyes, before the image faded away in the mirror.

A new image appeared with a man wearing a bandana and had a senbon in his mouth. He had an exasperated look on his face, as if saying, “Seriously, you forgot about me? What am I going to do with you?” 

He couldn’t help but laugh fondly with a snort. Genma was the one getting into more trouble on a daily basis. There was a fond smile on his face and something inside him relaxed. If he had Genma by his side, things would work out. They were partners, after all. 

The image faded away and his reflection appeared. There was a ripple in the reflection, before the young man with messy black hair and bright green eyes was replaced by an older man with spiky brown hair. The most distinct part of his appearance was the scar from his nose to his cheek, almost like cracks.

As if something slammed into his head, he finally remembered his name. It was Raido. Namiashi Raido. 

Raido looked down to see his appearance changed again. He was now wearing standard Konoha gear. His hands, which were once soft, now had calluses and scarred. It was proof that he lived through a war and how he was a soldier for the Leaf. He was a shinobi that was a bodyguard for the Sandaime. 

Raido closed his eyes. This entire experience was as if he was retracing the fragmented pieces of another life. It was distant, but not completely forgotten. It felt more and more familiar as he rewalked it. It was a life full of people who loved him and died for him. It was a life that had many hardships that he both loved people and lost them. He fought for them and protected them.

He died for them.

They also died for him. They died for a name he could no longer even remember. It was on the tip of his tongue, but everytime he tried to grasp it, it would slip through his fingers. 

Who was he before he was Raido? 

His shinobi instincts were telling him to be wary, especially with the cryptic warning Professor Dumbledore gave him. Something big was going to happen and it seemed like he was about to be dragged into the thick of it. 

“Time's up,” a raspy voice said behind him. 

Raido spun around to see a cloaked figure. His mouth felt dry and his body tensed. He immediately knew who that figure was.

“Death,” Raido said curtly. He eyed him warily. 

Death stood there, silently watching him. 

“It is time for you to reawaken. Remember who you are and who you once are. Remember it, Man-Who-Conquered. Remember your name, Master of Death.”

The train station began to fade away as the darkness enveloped everything. Raido tensed, before he was plunged into darkness. 

* * *

Namiashi Raido was a loyal soldier of the Leaf. If killing others meant he could protect his home and those precious in it, he would do so. Despite the horrors of the war and losing people he cared about (his father, who always had a smile on his face, and his mother who couldn’t cope with the stress and grief), he fought for the hopes of a better future. He killed in hopes that this war would end _so children wouldn’t have to keep dying._

He was willing to die for Konoha, but couldn’t find a reason to live either. 

Then, he found a man who shined like a light and, like many, swore to follow him. He was their Hokage and their leader. He was the hope for peace and a brighter future. Namikaze Minato was the perfect fit to lead them to better days.

In the shadows of ANBU, he also met Genma and they were able to become closer friends. Despite Genma and himself working in different roles, with Genma being the Hokage’s bodyguard and himself still working in the squads, the two tokubetsu jounins got along really well. And to their surprise, they actually worked together really well during their first mission together. It was as if something clicked together.

Needless to say, Raido was immediately shifted from his squad to one of the Hokage’s bodyguards. He felt like he was peering a bit into a family, with how much Genma, Kakashi, Minato, and Kushina got along like a house on fire. 

He felt like he found a reason to actually live for himself. Maybe this was where he belonged.

Then Minato died and it felt like everything was falling apart. Someone he swore to follow was killed. _He swore to protect Minato and failed to do so_. 

Kakashi, unable to cope with his grief, then vanished into the darkest shadows of ANBU. Raido felt like he was falling apart, especially with both of his old Genin teammates away from the village. 

Raido lost his leader and his family. He was alone.

Somehow, Genma, who was much closer to Minato and Kushina because they _treated him like family_ was able to cope with his grief much better. He was able to drag Raido for the pits of darkness and shoved him at other jounins to nail it into his head that he has not lost everything. That there were still people to live for and fight for.

Like little Naruto, or the other clan heads’ children. There were many orphans, which was why rebuilding was even more important than ever. And he wasn’t alone, because Genma was still by his side. 

They were more than friends. They were partners who had each other’s backs and that was that.

Raido was going to stick by his partner’s side no matter what and protect him. That means even occasionally taking stupid hits for the other because _he didn’t want to lose Genma too._

Namiashi Raido was lying on the bed as medics fussed over his (very critical) wounds while removing the poison from his system. Some of his friends stood by anxiously since they knew how close to death Raido was because his heart actually _stopped_ and Raido was actually _dead_ for a few horrifying moments.

It was a miracle he was alive now. Now, they could only watch in silent anxiety.

* * *

Namiashi Raido’s eyes snapped open. He remembered everything. His head felt the clearest than it ever has been before. 

He remembered his name. His name was Harry Potter.

He was Harry Potter, wizard and Saviour of the Wizarding World, but he was also Namiashi Raido, Shinobi of the Leaf and bodyguard of the Hokage.

He reincarnated and now he remembers everything. 

Fuck his life. Fate must honestly hate him or something.


	2. Chapter 2

Genma was the one who kept a level head. After all, a hotheaded shinobi was a dead shinobi. During the war, he learned too quickly (too young) that emotions - a moment of blind anger - could easily cost you the life of your teammates, if not yourself.

(The blood stained his hands. He felt sick and cold and weak. He wouldn’t make the same mistake ever again)

When he was a student, he was, admittedly, a bit jealous of Hatake Kakashi. He was the great prodigy who was on missions while many other students were just starting school. Many students looked up to the cold prodigy, both admiring or envious. Genma wasn’t above admitting his jealousy, since many other students felt the same. He knew that he would never be as strong as Kakashi. Kakashi was the untouchable prodigy, both the son of a powerful shinobi and the last of his clan. 

(Genma sometimes wondered if Kakashi regrets pushing everyone away. His aloofness and skill resulted in the tumultuous dynamics for his genin team. Maybe if Kakashi reached out earlier… Sometimes, Genma wonders when watching the ANBU drown in his grief at the Memorial Stone with no escape) 

However, when Genma made his first contact with war on a message delivery - a simple mission turned into a battle - Genma was met with the cold realization of what war was really like. Attacking their opponents with jutsus and poisoned tipped senbons, while his teammates were bleeding and hurt, only then did Genma realize what war was really like. It was bloody, awful, and sickening. Leaving their opponents dead (a team of adults and _soldiers smaller than him_ ), Genma realized that Kakashi has been fighting opponents bigger than him when he was much younger than Genma. 

He was young and made mistakes. He lost comrades that you only gain through blood and sweat and the shared duty to _protect the Leaf._ However, no matter how much you cry from grief or destroy from anger, it does not bring back the dead. It does not undo the mistakes you have made. 

Everyone found different ways to cope during the war. Some shinobi found healthy hobbies, such as knitting and cooking. 

(They were the minority)

Other shinobi expressed themselves in more… eccentric ways. 

(Gai fully embraced his father’s teachings with a smile, instead of losing himself to grief. Anko found herself scaring everyone around her and feasting on dango, instead of being overwhelmed with anger at the distrust) 

Most shinobi just carpenmentalize their horrors with a smile at their loved ones, while trying to forget the nightmares nipping them at the heels. It was unsaid, but there were no unscarred shinobi in the forces. Even with Yamanaka evaluations, most were skilled enough to be able to avoid them or, while in the evaluations, use their subferage skills to pretend everything was normal even when it wasn’t. 

(Shinobi don’t retire till they are dead or too broken to fight. That was an unspoken acknowledgement, even to those who “retire.” A broken shinobi is also a dead shinobi after they lost their main purpose; the look in their eyes haunting)

Genma found himself following the teachings of his parents. He began experimenting with poisons, and sometimes testing them on himself to build up immunity. When grief threatened to consume himself and others around him, he found himself cracking jokes more and more to lighten the mood. When his Hokage called on him to fight for the village, he did so. 

When Genma walked out of the war, he was a different person. Most of them were, even if they pretended they weren’t. They were children when they entered the Academy. They were soldiers with bloodied small hands after the war. 

(Genma wished he could protect children so they never had to experience the war like they did. No child deserved that, not even a prodigy)

Genma was loyal to the Hokage. He fought for his comrades and his friends. He killed Konoha and those in it. He lost those he cared about (Minato), but that just made him fight harder to make the Konoha a better place. They would have wanted the village to stay strong and keep living. 

(Sometimes, Genma wonders if Minato would have been disappointed in the current Konoha. He loved the village and people enough for both he and his wife to die for it. When Genma sees civilians chasing Naruto or the tiredness behind young Itachi’s eyes, there is always a bitter taste in his mouth)

The past leaves its marks, but Genma has learned to live in the present and for the future. The past has shaped him, but Genma can’t live with the ghosts of his parents or the broken pieces of his make-shift family that burned into ashes after the Kyuubi. 

However, no matter how much Genma lives in the present, the past left deep scars on his soul. _He doesn’t want to lose someone he loves again._

It is a fear that haunts him, which he locks away deep inside his heart. It is a fear that grips him as he watches medics hover over an ever pale Raido. It is a fear that rattles him and puts him off foot. 

Genma was a level headed soldier, true. But that didn’t mean he always kept his head on straight, especially when it involved Raido.

Raido was his best friend and his partner after many tough missions and battles. Something between them just _clicked_ and it felt like Genma found something he was missing all along. Raido was the one who sighs exasperatedly everytime Genma shows up at his apartment to crash, since his own apartment was messy (unlivable). Raido was the one who scolds Genma for being reckless on missions and how he should be going to the hospital first, while patching up his wounds. Raido was the one who witnessed Genma’s own mental breakdowns, but was the anchor to keep him steady.

(Raido was the one who made Genma’s heart stutter and his hands clammy, just by giving him a soft smile. Raido was the one who made Genma feel firm, but also so very weak-kneed, like his many flings that his friends teased him about. Genma tried to shove away those feelings since Raido was _more_ than his flings and Raido deserved _better_ than a man who has slept with more men and women than anyone could count. Raido deserved the best, and Genma wasn’t that)

Genma couldn’t afford to lose Raido, so perhaps that’s the reason why he lost his cool and yelled at a poor medic, demanding answers and _why wasn’t Raido getting better._

He had to be removed from the room by his friends since he was making a scene, but not before it felt like something was squeezing his heart from horror when he heard the flat line beep. 

It felt like his world was falling apart, with jounins and chunnins watching in horror or grim realization.

The medics were able to get his heart up again by using a lightning jutsu, but those moments felt like an eternity to a numb Genma. He couldn’t find it in himself to cry or to get angry or… anything. He just felt numb while he waited for the medics to announce Raido’s death.

By some miracle, Raido was alive. Raido was _okay._ Raido fucking died for a moment there and Genma was torn between stabbing his friend for shaving off about ten years off his life, or simply crying from relief.

(His old genin teammate, Gai, certainly had no qualms of crying in relief)

Genma, feeling as if he was put in through the ringer by Captain Hound, simply sat by Raido’s side and waited for hours till he would finally wake up. He knew his friends were concerned about him and only after they guilt tripped him of not taking care of himself, unlike a certain classmate of theirs, did he actually go back to his (Raido’s) apartment to shower and change, before he shunshined back to Raido’s hospital room. 

The others, noticing his arrival, gave him a look and Genma froze for a moment. He immediately sagged, giving the pretense that he was relaxed, but his friends gave him different looks of exasperation or concern. They knew him too well. They knew that he was both feeling utterly terrified, yet so relieved to know _Raido was okay._

Aoba gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder, while Kurenai whispered that everything was okay now. Anko, feeling a bit antsy, loudly proclaimed that she was going to grab some dango for herself (and Raido), before dragging Kurenai away. Hayate coughed, before giving Genma a small smile.

“Go talk to him. Everyone is heading out. The nurses are going to get him a new batch of food since there was a small accident,” Hayate said, before leaving Genma alone in the hall.

Genma had to gather his nerves for a moment (he would never admit it though), before opening the door. 

Genma felt his breath hitch when he noticed that Raido was awake, calmly laying in the bed and staring at the ceiling. Genma couldn’t help but shake his head fondly. Raido was too nice of a guy to stress out the nurses and medics by sneaking out of the hospital, unlike other shinobi.

“You know, other people would’ve left by now,” Genma couldn’t help but tease. Raido sighed and looked towards Genma with a flat look. He looked very tired and a bit stressed, Genma noticed.

“I, unlike some people, understand the concept of bedrest and also not sneaking out of a hospital while they’re literally bleeding,” Raido shot back with a roll of his eyes.

Genma shrugged and motioned towards the window. “It just looks too inviting, doesn’t it? Practically an open door.”

Raido snorted. “Anything could be an open door for a shinobi. Shiranui, don’t give me that innocent act since I literally had to stitch you back together, since you detest hospitals so much.”

Genma gave a leering smirk. “Maybe I just like your hands all over me?”

Raido barked a laugh and shook his head fondly. Something inside Genma twitched, but Genma tried to push that away. It wasn’t possible and he shouldn’t think about it. 

“I hope you don’t use that line on the nurses here. I can’t imagine that blood creates a very romantic atmosphere,” Raido said wryly with a small smile. His mouth, though smiling, seemed twisted and his eyes were dull. 

Genma moved his senbon to the other side of his mouth with a small frown. So, he wasn’t imagining it after all. Something was bothering Raido and he was forcing himself to be happy.

Genma grimaced. It might be because Raido was debriefed about the extent of the damage and how he literally died. That might be bothering him, but Raido was the type to pick himself up and keep going.

It might be something else, but having heart-to-heart conversations in a hospital were hardly private. Rumors in ANBU and in the shinobi population about his miraculous survival have already spread. Genma could sense some chakra signatures lingering, before darting away, as some worriers were confirming Raido’s survival.

In peacetime, shinobi were also the worst gossips. That’s a fact. Raido may not be the most powerful shinobi either, but he was a well-seasoned and well-liked one as well, among both shinobi and civilian population.

Needless to say, if Genma wanted to talk to Raido, the hospital was hardly the place.

Genma plopped down next to his friend, fiddling with his senbon. “Any questions you want to ask? How long are they keeping you trapped here?”

Raido sighed. “No, I’m good. I can head out later today, but I’m going to be stuck on light duty for a while. Likely, I’ll be switching shifts with you for guard duty for…” Raido trailed off with a conflicted look in his eyes. 

Genma sighed with his heart feeling heavy. His eyes darted to the window to see the clear blue sky that was so open and free. Blue sky, blue eyes.

(Why wasn’t he able to do _more_ for Naruto? It wasn’t fair)

“Well, looks like I’ll be guarding Sandaime-sama. Hopefully he doesn’t skip out on his paperwork again,” Genma said wryly. The paperwork just seemed to keep and keep going in the Hokage’s office. Minato even seemed to be buried under the paperwork, while Kushina literally had to drag her husband home to eat together. 

You couldn’t pay Genma all the S-ranks in the world to take on the job of Hokage. Genma could understand why the last remaining Sannin hightailed it out of there.

Genma snorted at the thought and Raido raised an eyebrow. “Just thinking about the idea of Jiraiya taking on the role of Hokage. He would die under all the paperwork.”

Raido chuckled with a sparkle in his eyes. The tension of worry in Genma relaxed. Genma was glad Raido didn’t have those dull eyes anymore and seemed more lighthearted. 

“The guy wouldn’t be able to know where to start. He would probably be heartbroken since he wouldn’t be able to do anymore of his “research” as an excuse to write his books too,” Raido remarked with a grin.

“There would be plenty of distraught fans, including the Sandaime,” Genma replied with a smirk. The ANBU guards were polite enough to turn a blind eye whenever the Sandaime got a… special package from his student. No rumors, their lips were sealed. 

“Kakashi included,” Raido mused with a laugh. “All around the world, so many powerful people are brought to their knees by the power of porn, grieving.” Both of them laughed at the idea, feeling a bit lighter.

It reassured Genma that Raido was alive and breathing. He was still here.

The good mood was interrupted by a noise outside. Genma’s eyes darted to the window to see a messenger bird. He sighed. Looks like duty calls. 

“See you later, okay? Don’t push yourself. I’ll cook dinner tonight,” Genma told Raido as he opened the window and the bird hopped onto his shoulder. 

“Yeah, no, unless you’re buying. When was the last time you cooked?” Raido said dryly and Genma choked on air.

“It’s not my fault you’re such a good cook! You know how hard it is to get a good home cooked meal with our schedules!” Genma sputtered. 

“The point of cooking is to eat. Not to poison everyone.” 

Genma grumbled as he waved goodbye, before dashing towards the Hokage’s office. Hopefully he would be back for dinner and not on a six month infiltration mission, like last time. 

(Never piss off a Desk Shinobi) 

* * *

Raido opened his eyes and blinked in confusion, before sighing in resignation. He was literally standing in darkness. Talk about really dreary and dramatic. 

Raido raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms as he waited for the bastard to appear. 

(Death was a fucking asshole and no one could convince Raido otherwise)

“What a nasty look in your eyes,” someone rasped behind him and Raido spun around to see a hooded figure.

“What the hell do you want?” Raido demanded, eyeing the cloaked figure suspiciously. Death doesn’t show up in your dreams for nothing.

“I went out of my way to help you, and this is the thanks I get?” Death replied flatly and something inside Raido twitched. The cryptic words of their previous meeting lingered in his mind.

“What do you want? Why… Why give me memories of my previous life _now_ ? You certainly have not shown your face till now. I would understand if you gave them to me when I was reborn or over time. Heck, even when I was eleven since that is when everything started. I am already an adult and lived past the age I have died. _Why now_!?” Raido demanded. His memories of his past life seeping through him as his temper flared. 

(He lost so many people he loved _and he couldn’t do anything about it now_. They were either dead or alive in a world he could never return to)

“And because of you, I died! The Professor told me! You wanted me to board the goddamn train beyond death, and here I am. I didn’t mind since I accepted the adventure after death. I reincarnated, but yet, only now you suddenly flip my world upside down. Why!?” Raido yelled as nails dug into his palm in frustration. 

(If he remembered his past life sooner, he could have done _something._ He might have been able to save Minato and Kushina. He might have been able to prevent the war. He might have been able to prevent the meaningless deaths of his teammates over the years)

“You are already feeling the effects, aren’t you? Your magic is returning,” Death said curtly. “You should be careful. It’s very unstable right now. Imagine if you have an incident in the real world.”

Raido scowled unhappily. He already _had_ a small accident. When Raido woke up and realized that he was reincarnated, his frustration caused the food the nurse was carrying to crash since the tray was _vibrating._

It was a mild case of accidental magic, which everyone immediately brushed off since the nurse apologized for being so clumsy, but _Raido knew that he caused that_.

The hum of magic was strange alongside his chakra. It was uncomfortable, like a new itch under his skin that he couldn’t scratch and had to ignore. 

“I just… want some answers. I feel too old for this,” Raido sighed as his anger left him. He just felt tired of this. In his first life, he was thrown into incident after incident, before having the weight of the world on his shoulders. In his second life, he had to experience war (as a child soldier _again_ , some part of his mind screamed) and lost his entire family. He was used to swinging his sword and cutting off the head of another, feeling nothing as he accomplished the mission objective.

He already, on a daily basis, dealt with summons, creative applications of chakra, strange clan techniques, and the eccentricity of Konoha shinobi. He didn’t want to deal with magic and whatever Death wanted to drag him into. 

“Your case was… particular. People don’t usually remember their past lives, unless they make some kind of deal with me. You are, however, the current Master of Death. This meant some bending of the rules. You need your memories and magic for the trials coming. I may have not been able to return your memories and your powers when you were born, but I could after you died. I… simply did not expect you to take so long to die, considering your track record, Master,” Death quietly explained. They paused, obviously waiting for this information to sink in. 

And it did sink in.

Raido wanted to sit down, put his face in his hands, and just scream. How was this his life?

Death, unable to read the mood, helpfully added, “Third time’s the charm, right?”

Dying three times wasn’t something to celebrate, in his opinion. Then again, did Death even care about his opinion? Raido highly doubted it. It felt like Master of Death was a rather empty title. 

“Just.. okay. Okay, sure. Whatever. Yay for dying,” Raido muttered under his breath. 

Death just seemed to stare at Raido. Even though he couldn’t see under Death’s cloak, he had the uncomfortable feeling that Death could see everything. 

“I do hope you cooperate with me. After all, you may be able to help Namikaze’s soul if you do,” Death said and Raido’s head snapped to Death. 

“How about Kushina’s?” Raido whispered. The memory of the woman’s bright red hair with her blood dripping on the floor still gripped his heart. Raido bit his tongue. 

(Raido failed Minato and his wife. The woman with so much fire was too cold)

“She’s waiting on the other side for her family. She may never reunite with her husband though. You do want to help her, don’t you?”

Raido’s whole body was trembling, but he tried to freeze. He couldn’t show such weakness right now.

Raido closed his eyes. “I can’t bring back the dead though.” He remembered that clearly after his godfather’s death.

“You cannot.”

“But I could help Minato’s soul,” Raido said calmly. Much calmer than he actually felt. 

“I may have different appearances and different personalities, but in each world, death is death. You are the Master of Death and have some control of my domain. Shinigami is Death just as much as I am. You have many challenges ahead of you, but this is something in your power. Will you help your Hokage-sama?” Death asked him. 

Raido wasn’t stupid. Even in an emotional state, he could see that Death was tempting him because of something else. Yet, for the life of him, Raido couldn’t understand Death’s game plan. Maybe he never will. 

But even then, the face carved into the mountain burned into his mind. Raido already made his decision.

He stared straight at Death. “Of course I will,” Raido said with clenched fists. This was something he had to do. It was something within his powers and he could never forgive himself if he turned it down. He would never be able to stare Naruto in the face without feeling shame and guilt. 

_He had to do this._

“What do you want then?” Raido asked warily. Death wouldn’t just offer this for no reason. 

“You’re my master. I couldn’t possibly ask anything from you,” Death replied. Raido wanted to scoff, but stopped himself. It’s fine. If Death had a gameplan, he would reveal it later. He could wait and be patient.

Death approached him and a cloaked sleeve reached for his hand. Raido gasped as something _burned_ into the palm of his right hand. He stiffened, but waited for a few moments until the cloak sleeve retreated.

There was the Mark of the Deathly Hallows burned in his hand. It was glowing the colors of fire, before fading away as if it was never there.

“Any issues and problems though, you must deal with yourself. This mark will guide you and _they’ll_ help you with everything. Maybe we will meet again soon, maybe we won’t. Goodbye, Harry Potter and Namiashi Raido. It has started and things are lurking. You will need it,” Death said, before being enveloped by darkness. 

* * *

Raido’s eyes snapped open. He was awake now, still in his hospital bed. He sat up with a sigh. It wasn’t too late since the dimming sun stretched long shadows, but he could hear ANBU and shinobi darting over the rooftops while patrolling. 

In the darkness of the room, Raido stared at the palm of his hand. He could see the gentle glow of the mark, before it faded away.

It wasn’t a dream. 

The mark was there. It was lingering in wait. For what? He honestly did not know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pokes head out*
> 
> I am sorry for the wait! I had midterms. I did actually write this chapter, but ended up throwing it out since I didn't like how it flowed. This is a complete revamp of Chapter 2 and I took some liberties with Genma and his backstory, but hey! Creative freedom! I don't have time to write a 100K slowburn fic, which hopefully isn't the route for this fic since the one long fic I did write, it was on Twitter and the only reason why I finished it in a timely manner. I am still a bit unsure how long this fic is going to be, but it is going to be decently long. Strap in for the ride! 
> 
> I was a bit worried about how OOC the characters may be or if the flow was right, which meant me stressing out and taking forever. But I want to say now, for my sake and anyone else reading this, I am going to be writing for fun and I am not a perfect writer. I'm just trying my best for my own enjoyment and yours as well! 
> 
> Also, thank you so much for all the sweet comments and kind words! It honestly meant the world to me. I couldn't find time to reply to some of them, but I read them all the time with a giddy smile on my face. Thank you!
> 
> Please leave some comments and kudos! Honestly, it all means the world to me <333
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! Foreshadowing ahoy!
> 
> *hides back under blankets*

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally me trying to find more Harry Potter and Naruto crossovers and also trying to find some more Genma/Raido, before going fuck it. I am going to do it myself.
> 
> Thus, instead of doing college work, this was born. 
> 
> No one asked for this, but here it is anyways. The title both represents this sentiment and Raido/Harry's life at the moment. 
> 
> I might continue this if people like it? I am very much testing the waters right now. Haven't written anything for Naruto before, while my Harry Potter fics have been deleted to never see the light of day again, so yeah. Let's see how this goes.


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